In retrospect, sometimes I find it really unbelievable that since 2004 to 2006 I have move to three different places and each time the process of making the place a 'home' becomes easier and that goes the same for the emotional adjustment! The third and current place I've moved into about two years now has become a cozy little home I've made for myself and it has become a 'refuge' for me after a long hard day at work each day.
A place to pick up myself and pull myself together after being pull into so many different directions the whole day. I'm really enjoying living alone, perhaps as a compensation of having to spend five years in the bible seminary (1999 to 2003) and sharing a room with two other people that seems to come and go while I made my tiny little corner as homely as possible over those five years. By nature I am a loner, introverted but after ten years away from my comfort zone has help me to become a more well adjusted adult, I think (smile). Yes, I still love the aloneness, the quietness, the sense of orderliness and that sort of give one a sense of control of one's space yet there are those horrifying moments when being alone gives one a sense of insecurity. 
Those very human moments when you just need to sense the strength of another, the courage outside of your insecure self to feel the courage to go on!
Yes, from time to time I still miss my parents, the sound of their familiar voices even if it’s in nagging me why I'm not married yet (sigh!) and the sight of their old and rugged faces! Many times I wish things were what they were at one time when every one of the family was in the same place, easy to visit siblings or parents and yet looking at it realistically if we didn't let God move us along life's journey we will be stagnant. We will not bloom, not grow and mature! I was just contemplating the other day about God's perfect will for my life as His precious child.
When I was younger and had just embark on this spiritual journey with God, I thought God's perfect will for me would be having the 'perfect' work or ministry, having the 'perfect' situation in life where things would just fall beautifully into their places and even believing that God will provide the 'perfect' life partner for me! But the long twenty over years of journeying with my God through the valleys, the deserts, the mountains, the 'fire' and the 'flood' has help me to view life's journey more realistically. 
To my understanding now the perfect will of God specifically for me is not in all the things I had earlier thought it would be. The perfect will of God for me is to be ultimately changed and transformed into the likeness of Jesus. Everything that happens between now and that destiny is part of the process of getting me there as I keep myself in a posture of being teachable, as pliable clay in the hands of a skillful potter. Looking back at the last ten years since I have embark on this journey of faith as I 'migrated' to West Malaysia from my home state in East Malaysia I marvel at how far I have come, how incredibly I have been able (enabled by His grace and strength, of course!) to survive this independent living detached literally from my very roots, my family that provides me with the sense of who I am as a person. The first time I left my family and home state for the longest time was 15 years ago for almost half a year to do a five month stint with an international mission organization.
That experience changed me in many ways as a person, my worldview, my perception and even my attitudes in a better way. The one month doing short term mission work in the 
And now I contemplate with gratitude in my heart this experience of being planted in this 'ground' and how through His sustaining grace I have thrived. I feel more at peace with myself with a deeper sense of God's destiny in my heart and above all the fervor and zeal of my first love is stronger still and gives the needed strength to my will to go on and pursuing His perfect will for me.
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